e could say it has quite the identity crisis. If this business were a living, breathing, human being it would be locked up in a fucking loony bin along with all the other whack jobs in this world. During this time it has gone from Arabica Coffee House, to Arabica/Buffet Style Pizza, to Arabica again, to Futbol "punch me in the face for working there" Cafe, and finally back to Arabica Coffee House. To add to the confusion, this coffee shop doesn't even have its own sign. At one point in time it did. It would glow bright red at night letting everyone know that the local "Arab Coffee Ho" was open for business. While many variations of the light up lettering occurred this has always been the most humorous. Until one day the sign was taken down in favor of a new sign...check that...a new...banner? yup a banner. Nothing says class like a plastic banner flapping in the breeze.Owner #4, as we we will call him for right now, was too lazy and misguided to go the entire distance when it c
ame to a sign. Instead, he bolted a plastic banner to the front of the store. Not only was this the world's worst downgrade, it only further emphasized the point that owner #4 didn't have a fucking clue what he was doing. I mean who wouldn't be attracted to a European, Soccer themed cafe in the heart of Midwest America...a place known for its allegiance to Ohio State and Cleveland Browns football, still can't get over the drive, the fumble, the shot, or Jose Mesa's blown game 7 of the 97 world series, and it's general disdain for anything non American or soccer related...yup a soccer coffee house. Couldn't possibly fail. Well, surprise surprise...it failed...miserably. This led way to the newest owners of this enchanted wonderland of coffee.On a cold miserable day I was given the task of slaying the hideous yellow and maroon beast from the side of the building. I was also promised that a new sign would follow shortly thereafter. LIES! After cutting our sign...errr...banner down, in the snow and cold mind you,
the front has remained naked for the past 3 months. We truly resemble the climate of Cleveland in 2009, a dilapidated piece of shit building that looks empty 98% of the time. All that's missing is some cool graffiti on the side. Also bear in mind the newest owners...err suckers to purchase this dream, place the blame for the lack of sales on me and my crew, as if we are the ones who haven't put up some type of sign saying "HEY! Here we are! Give us your money!" There's also a recession going on, probably doesn't help things much either. Now, most of you may be wondering, "why not put the old sign back up?" There is a simple answer to that, our fearless leader during the Futbol Cafe era left the sign sitting out outside behind the store. Long story short...someone ganked that mofo. Who steals a large 500+ pound sign? I have no idea. I blame the kids of today. But regardless that is the current state of things. We are a failing coffee shop, in a failing economy, with no sign and therefore no name to those on the outside world.What can you expect from this blog exactly? Each and everyday I work it is almost assured that something unreasonably stupid, retarded and or absurd is going to happen. I plan on documenting these occurrences daily in as humorous a way as possible. Some will involve me, others will involve my co-workers. I have been saying for years that the outside world needs to hear what goes on behind the scenes...and unfortunately at the counter. On slow days I'll tap into the vault and pull out classic stories from over the years. I assure you that nothing that happens will be fabricated. This is all 100% true...and that's the fucking scariest part of all.
I can't wait until tomorrow!! Too Funny and oh so true!
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