The Love Connection!

So every business has it, it being that one person that is too sickeningly nice for their own good. We're no different. Anyone that has been in anyway associated with or fine establishment knows that that individual is Caila....
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Ok, you got me. Caila is totally our resident bitch and in her defense she knows this. She uses it to her advantage and quite well I might add. She has that cold as ice death stare down to a science, one leg sticking out slightly, arms crossed...you all know the one. But like I was saying, our co-worker that's always making with the nicey nice is Katie. While this may often be considered a great character trait it often comes back to bite her in the ass, which is also kind of funny if you know her.

Anyways, Katie is really REALLY nice to everyone that walks through the door. She even puts on a good face for the assholes. Well the downfall of this disgustingly sweet behavior is that for some reason it causes every psychopath in the quad-city area, Wickliffe, Willowick, Willoughby, and Euclid, to inexplicably fall in love with her. We're not talking like school yard crushes here. We're talking about standing outside in the bushes at night carving her name in body parts crazy. Now many people would think that this is a gross over exaggeration, it's not I swear...I have proof.

Case#1: Crazy Bongo Man
Crazy Bongo Man, the guy that walks around all day everyday with a random assortment of bongos and shit came in one night while Katie was working and proceeded with the following declaration of love after telling her how gorgeous he thought she was.

Bongo Man: "So how old are you?"
Katie: "17..."
Bongo Man: "Well how about this is what we're gonna do. You finish high school and when you turn 18 you and me will run away together to Europe and we'll get married and we can start having babies and then you can get a masters degree and it'll just be amazing."
Katie: "Uhhh...what?"
Bongo Man: "We're meant to be together!"

Now after all of that any normal person would respond with a get the hell out of here what the @*$% is wrong with you!?!? Not Katie. She simply laughed it off, gave Bongo Man his coffee, and proceeded to repress the memory.

Case #2: Crazy Joe
Crazy Joe is a bipolar alcoholic that likes to sit in the corner of our fine establishment wasted and smelling of piss. The guy is a train wreck. Kind of sad really. Anyways, he doesn't talk to any of us, at all, EVER! Unless he needs to use the phone which is about every 30 seconds. He does have one exception. You guessed it, Katie. One day Crazy Joe walks up to the counter and looks right at the two of us and ask:

Crazy Joe: "Guess who I saw today? You'll never believe it!"
Brian: "Who?"
Crazy Joe: "Woody Hayes!"
Brian and Katie: .........
Crazy Joe proceeds to stare at us with a smile on his face looking for some sort of sign of approval from her.
Brian: *looking at Katie* "Woody Hayes coached Ohio St. back in the day and has been dead for 20 years about..."
Katie: "Wow..."

Joe then proceeded to stand there in awkward silence for another 2 minutes. When Katie finally went to leave and go out to her car, Joe followed her all the way out. He then stood at the corner and watched as she drove past him and out of sight. I'm waiting for him to walk in one day with his ear in a box for her...or worse.

There are countless other examples, but these work the best.

So there you have it. Proof positive that sometimes it's better to be the bitch rather than the angel. I mean Caila has never had to deal with this kind of crap. Although Caila did have a customer caress her face the one day as he was walking out, so what do I really know.