O2...OH NO!

I did not have the pleasure of working today, somehow some way i managed to get one of these things people like to call a day off. I don't know what to do with myself. Anyways, this happened to Matt yesterday afternoon, 2/4/09, probably around 2 o'clock.

This elderly old woman named Charlotte comes in pretty much on a daily basis. She's a wonderfully nice woman, but also doubles as a walking anti-smoking campaign. She is the person the tobacco companies don't want you to know about. 60 years old looking like she's going on 100, emphysema, extra phlegmy voice. How anyone can look at her and not think "I need to quit before I turn into that!" I will never know. But like I said she is a genuinely nice woman.

Anyways, around 2 pm Matt gets a phone call on the store phone, keep that in mind. This is the transaction that takes place.

Matt: Hello Arabica Wickliffe.
Charlotte: Hi is Brian there?
Matt: No he left for the day.
Charlotte: Oh..is this Matt?
Matt: Yes it is.
Charlotte: Oh...are you at the store?
Matt: *dumbfounded by the question because she called the store* Uhhhh ya...
Charlotte: Oh good. I was wondering if you could help hook up my oxygen tank when I get there.
Matt: Uhhhhhh....ya, or one of the customers can help you i guess.
Charlotte: Thanks

It is at this point that Matt understands what he has done. He has made himself responsible for making sure that someone who is unable to breathe oxygen naturally out of the air has an oxygen tank hooked up and running properly...no pressure. Also, why on Earth would you call someone you hardly know and ask them a favor like that? Who does that? "Hey person I don't know all that well, help assure me that I can breathe." WHO DOES THAT!?!?

Charlotte arrived at the store around 2:30. Matt was able to talk a customer into helping her, thus passing on the responsibility...and all liability...on to someone else. As he watches this whole thing unfold he overheard the following.

Charlotte: Thank you so much
Customer: No problem, it wasn't that complicated.
Charlotte: Well wait a minute, are you sure this thing is even on I can't even feel anything.
Customer: Ya I'm sure it's on.
Charlotte: Oh...well I'm just saying I don't....Ohhhhhh....Now I can feel it.
Charlotte then proceeds to go into an over oxygenated high

5 Minutes later...

Charlotte: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy....Can I smoke with this thing on?
Matt: NO!

So there you have it. Nothing like smoking while wearing an oxygen mask. I mean pure oxygen and an open flame goes oh so well together. We are now placing bets on whether or not she will blow herself up, OR if she will blow up the store. God I hope I'm there when it happens. Stay tuned...