Seeing Red...

OK...so I would like to apologize. I realize that I have a hugely successful following (please note the sarcasm) and my lack of posts over the course of the past 2 months has been alarming. I went away on vacation and once I came back I never really got back into the groove of writing these things. I also didn't really have time seeing as how the job search went into overdrive. What a tremendous waste of time that was, but I digress. In fact the only reason I'm writing this right now is because I'm that bored and figured why not. So here's to hoping that this one post born out of extreme boredom is enough to rekindle a fire under my ass.

Anyways, since I last wrote a lot has been going on. For starters I still can't find a decent full time job that is willing to pay me for what I'm worth. There just simply aren't any $100,000+ entry level jobs out there. How the hell am I expected to get my mansion and all my bling with a measly $30000 (this is a joke fyi. I would gladly give up my left testicle in order to be making $30,000 right now). So in an attempt to stop the bleeding from my wallet I decided to apply at Target, not thinking anything would come of it but rather I could say well I tried. All time classic back fire right there. Apparently everyone and there mother who works at Target came through the drive through, including the girl that saw my resume and hired me... before I even interviewed. Who knew that with that simple 10 minute point and click process that along with my resume I would also be submitting my dignity along with it. And why is it that I couldn't have a connection somewhere important where I could start off using my degrees. No, instead I'm stocking shelves and taking orders from bosses who are my age or younger...fun times. Although I could work my way up... but that could take a long... long time. Especially considering the people who have been there the longest are no higher than I am. Most of you are probably think so they've been there a few months longer it'll be OK. NO! These people have been working at the same Target upwards of 14 and 11 years. I don't have that kind of time. So yes... I work for Target now. I am officially a slave to the corporate retail world of America.

In the three weeks I've worked there I can already tell that it is going to provide me with an awesome amount of material for this sight. However I'm gonna wait and let the collection of stories build before I unleash them to the unassuming public. Just know this... If you ever shop somewhere, grab something off a shelf, carry it around the store and then decide 20 minutes later you don't want this piece of crap and set it on a random shelf 47 isles away from where you grabbed it... I don't like you... we are no longer friends. Yes, I now hate myself as well. I also hate screaming children. The next time I'm walking around the store avoiding people at all costs (yes I try to avoid all human contact, back end caps are my friend) and I hear I WANT! I WANT I WANT IT!!!! being screamed at a terrified parent I'm going to calmly walk up to the child and say well you know what I want you to shut the fuck up!

Anyways, now that I've reached the end of this little re-start post I can feel the ideas beginning to percolate. So in actuality I guess this worked. I'm motivated again to write all these crappy stories and post them on the interweb for everyone to not read. More to come... that's for sure.

P.S. I just got done surviving "Easter Week." Let me say this...If come Thanksgiving I am still working at Target... I'm quitting. Christmas season will be the death of me.