When Target and Arabica Collide

So as many of you know, I currently work at Target. Before working at Target I slaved my life away for Arabica Coffee House. Now as many of you can assume these are two very different entities with two very different styles of business. The most glaring of these differences are these things called rules and regulations as well as their enforcement. Target is all about their rules. Arabica... shit, I think the only rule we had was wash your hands... most of the time. You might think I'm kidding there. I'm not. However, despite these differences there seems to be one overwhelming similarity between the two. This would be the people and by people I mean customers, or in Target speak, the guests. Arabica customers and employees shop, and unfortunately work, at Target. This has led to some very awkward exchanges for me. Allow me to explain a little more.

There are a few kinds of encounters I have working at Target with former Arabica customers. Despite how it may begin it always ends the same fucking way, with them assuming we're best friends. Typically I'm met with either an "OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU!?!?!" or the ever so depressing, "Why do you look so familiar?" "Arabica..." "OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU!?!?!" How am I you ask? I work at Target for a whopping $7.55 per hour... HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!!! Seriously. Small talk is exchanged, I end up explaining the tale that is the demise of Arabica, I swear it's a local legend by now, and then a "well it was good seeing you." It's especially awkward when I hated the person to begin with and they believe us to be bosom buddies. I share bosoms with only a select few. If I relied on your "generosity" to support me financially... chances are we do not share bosoms.

The second encounter which is limited to one, thank God are former Arabica customers who I work with. Robb is cool...he is the lone exception. The other R-tard to fall into this category I'm pretty sure is an actual R-tard. Deaf Jimmy, aka Terry FUCKING Bradshaw. He was a deaf guy that used to come into the store and try and place orders. This was a problem because he was deaf, sucked at reading lips, and screamed what he wanted. Communicating with Helen Keller would be easier. Yes a Helen Keller joke. I don;t have the energy to be more creative. Anyways, Terry Bradshaw saw me in the break room and proceed to give me two thumbs down and scream COFFEE SHOP BAD! BAD! BAD COFFEE SHOP! This wasn't awkward at all considering it happened during my first week, in the middle of the break room, in front of like 8 people. Fucking Terry Bradshaw.

Last are the encounters when I run into my fellow co-workers. These are few and far between because when I'm at work I hide. Apparently they all suck at finding me. It's a like this glorified game of hide and seek. But I have to say these encounters are enjoyable. It's good to catch up with them. Let it be known that I know you laugh about my stupid khakis and red shirt as you walk away. It's like I'm Carrie in the final scene of "Carrie" being laughed at up on stage covered in fake blood. Oh if only I had telepathy. REVENGE SHALL BE MINE!!! errr I completely understand, I look like a douche. But I gotta make a living. I can;t wait until the day comes when they all have shitty jobs and I can stop in and "say hello to them" err make fun of them. Fuckers.

So there you have it. Just a simple little glimpse further into my life at Target. You Know you're all jealous.