and jokes... more so than normal. I did not censor myself.
And we have come full circle. What do I mean you ask? Well, with Wickliffe being the hotbed for gossip that it is, it was only a matter of time until we learned something about the fate of Arabica Wickliffe and those mother fuckers who screwed all of us over. For those of you just now tuning in, or for those that need a recap of the events that took place, allow me to tell you a tale. To paint a picture if I may. To spin a web of sarcastic irony.
Back 
in February of this past year, The No Name Cafe, aka Fut(fuck)bol Cafe, aka Arabica, aka piece of crap was bought by a family. This wasn't just any family however. In fact Ryko told us that we were bought by a man, who would be dubbed "The Owner," who was very family oriented. In fact, he was so family oriented in fact that he decided to procreate with his succubus, demon woman wife. seriously... there's bitch... and then there was this woman. How "The Owner" was physically able to become sexually aroused enough by the sight of this apron over dress wearing 24/7 "woman" to be able to stick his penis inside of her. MORE THAN ONCE! (I use the term woman loosely, which is also ironic because after popping out twelve kids I'm sure you could park a semi truck in her vag) But honestly, my dick 
ran and hid from this woman like a fucking ninja turtle fighting The Shredder when she was around. I would rather had sex with a young Vietnamese girl during the Vietnam war. Sure they hid razor blades in there to fuck over the soldiers but those wounds heal. The psychological wounds of being with that hell beast would never wash away. OK, I've really, REALLY gotten off track here...back to where I was going.
in February of this past year, The No Name Cafe, aka Fut(fuck)bol Cafe, aka Arabica, aka piece of crap was bought by a family. This wasn't just any family however. In fact Ryko told us that we were bought by a man, who would be dubbed "The Owner," who was very family oriented. In fact, he was so family oriented in fact that he decided to procreate with his succubus, demon woman wife. seriously... there's bitch... and then there was this woman. How "The Owner" was physically able to become sexually aroused enough by the sight of this apron over dress wearing 24/7 "woman" to be able to stick his penis inside of her. MORE THAN ONCE! (I use the term woman loosely, which is also ironic because after popping out twelve kids I'm sure you could park a semi truck in her vag) But honestly, my dick 
ran and hid from this woman like a fucking ninja turtle fighting The Shredder when she was around. I would rather had sex with a young Vietnamese girl during the Vietnam war. Sure they hid razor blades in there to fuck over the soldiers but those wounds heal. The psychological wounds of being with that hell beast would never wash away. OK, I've really, REALLY gotten off track here...back to where I was going.Anyways, "The Owner" bought us out, switched us back to Arabica, and then a
fter subjecting us to zero communication, an operations manager that would make Ben Stein look like Robin Williams, and then his pig whore wife coming in and turning everything upside down.... they let us go. Every single one of us. Well technically Matt and Lorrie were spared, but it was only temporary. Our Family was broken. Over the course of the year leading into these events we had been through some devastating events. Davo
r sold the business and essentially broke up with Tony. It was like our parents got divorced and we were the kids left taking the blame. Was it our fault? Could we have done more? Who knows. All I know is that instead of making sure the kids were OK we were left in the care of the world's worst foster parent...Ryko. Hindsight being 20/20... we would have been better off being left in the care of a child molester. But it was OK, because Ryko sold the business and we were getting a new owner, a new start, someone wanted us god damn it! and then the events played out and we were cast aside like the trash that over flowed from the back dumpster after 3 weeks.
fter subjecting us to zero communication, an operations manager that would make Ben Stein look like Robin Williams, and then his pig whore wife coming in and turning everything upside down.... they let us go. Every single one of us. Well technically Matt and Lorrie were spared, but it was only temporary. Our Family was broken. Over the course of the year leading into these events we had been through some devastating events. Davo
r sold the business and essentially broke up with Tony. It was like our parents got divorced and we were the kids left taking the blame. Was it our fault? Could we have done more? Who knows. All I know is that instead of making sure the kids were OK we were left in the care of the world's worst foster parent...Ryko. Hindsight being 20/20... we would have been better off being left in the care of a child molester. But it was OK, because Ryko sold the business and we were getting a new owner, a new start, someone wanted us god damn it! and then the events played out and we were cast aside like the trash that over flowed from the back dumpster after 3 weeks.In the a
ftermath of it all some of us were left unemployed, others found there way to places such as Marc's, Target, Red Lobster and Panini's, understanding what it meant to actually have to work for a living. It was a strange new concept and we hated it. I think I worked more in one week at Target than I had worked in 1 year at Arabica. Things haven't really been or felt the same since. Sure we keep in contact, but not how we used to. But one thing has kept us united throughout it all... our loathsome hatred for "The Owner," Twatosaurus Rex, and their Jesus freak family. Well, as fate would have it we would have our redemption of sorts.
ftermath of it all some of us were left unemployed, others found there way to places such as Marc's, Target, Red Lobster and Panini's, understanding what it meant to actually have to work for a living. It was a strange new concept and we hated it. I think I worked more in one week at Target than I had worked in 1 year at Arabica. Things haven't really been or felt the same since. Sure we keep in contact, but not how we used to. But one thing has kept us united throughout it all... our loathsome hatred for "The Owner," Twatosaurus Rex, and their Jesus freak family. Well, as fate would have it we would have our redemption of sorts.This past weekend through the grapevine that is Wickliffe it was discovered that "The Owner"
and She-Beast were getting a divorce. It's so tragic. Really, we're all crying on the inside for them (jerking off motion). So what does this mean exactly? Well I'm sure there were a number of factors at play. The buying of two stores probably without Medusa's approval by "The Owner." The fact that "The Owner" was married to the queen bitch of all bitches. And they have twelve kids, some of them still very young. That's a lot of fucking child support. *WARNING: JON AND KATE PLUS 8 JOKE AHEAD* I think at this point all that's left is for the owner to sit down with Jon Gosselin and have him spill his secrets for picking up drunken party sluts all while raising a fucking litter. Meanwhile Kate and Ursula can get together and hold the first meeting of the Queen Bitches Society. Topics on the ledger for that meeting are rumored to be "How to Better Control a Man" and "How to Steal Ariel's Voice...Again."
and She-Beast were getting a divorce. It's so tragic. Really, we're all crying on the inside for them (jerking off motion). So what does this mean exactly? Well I'm sure there were a number of factors at play. The buying of two stores probably without Medusa's approval by "The Owner." The fact that "The Owner" was married to the queen bitch of all bitches. And they have twelve kids, some of them still very young. That's a lot of fucking child support. *WARNING: JON AND KATE PLUS 8 JOKE AHEAD* I think at this point all that's left is for the owner to sit down with Jon Gosselin and have him spill his secrets for picking up drunken party sluts all while raising a fucking litter. Meanwhile Kate and Ursula can get together and hold the first meeting of the Queen Bitches Society. Topics on the ledger for that meeting are rumored to be "How to Better Control a Man" and "How to Steal Ariel's Voice...Again."
So there you have it. Karma has come back to officially bite these people in the ass. Does it make me feel like a terrible person to be laughing at their misfortune and how their family has been broken? It did... for a millisecond. Then I thought about what they put us through for 3 months and how they ended it. The unprofessional, discourteous, down right despicable way in which they treated us. It only makes sense. If they are willing to treat other people like that, how must that have treated each other? Helps explain A LOT, at least I think so. All I can hope for is that "The Owner" keeps his fucking empire in his pants and that Jabba the Hut doesn't score some kind of lucrative book deal. I wonder if Kate is looking for a business partner...Oops, that was another of those jokes.New Feature: The Scoreboard
Nicknames Used For Owner's Wife:
Demon Woman
Bitch
apron over dress wearing 24/7 "woman"
The Shredder (comparison purposes)
Hell Beast
Pig Whore Wife
Twatasaurus Rex
She-Beast
Medusa
Queen Bitch
Ursula *bonus points for a Disney reference*
Jabba the Hut
Jon and Kate Plus 8 Jokes: 2... I'm sorry... so very, very sorry....
I would say that you have successfully vented your anger and frustration!! Thanks because you gave me a laugh and let me vent through you!!
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